By Kindra Moné

How many times have you told yourself “new year, new me,” but you’ve found yourself slipping right back into your old habits? If your goals are something that you want so badly, what is stopping you from turning your dreams into a reality?

It’s easy to attribute all of the goals you haven’t met to a lack of discipline, but discipline isn’t a genetic trait that you either have or don’t. It’s a muscle that we can choose to work — and most of us simply aren’t directing our discipline towards our goals. If you’ve ever held a steady job, obtained an academic degree, or have been an active member of a team or an organization, then you have discipline. So what’s missing? Here are 5 reasons that you’re probably not accomplishing your goals. We suggest you take notes!

1. Your goals aren’t SMART

   Many career coaches and mental health professionals recommend the SMART goal system. Your goals should be Specific, Measurable, Achievable/Attainable, Relevant and Timely. If your goal is to go into business for yourself, let’s break it down and get specific. What is your target audience? What services/products will you offer? How much will you charge? The list goes on. Get specific so that you know what you’re working towards! When your goals are too vague, you make them near-impossible. Your goals should also be measurable. If you want to lose weight or gain clients, give yourself a number! How will you measure your progress? You need a clear definition of success. This will help you track your progress and turn lofty goals into realistic benchmarks. Speaking of realistic, how attainable is your goal, really? Do your market research in your desired area of progress and see how long it typically takes to lose X amount of pounds, to open a store, or to obtain the certification that you need. When your goals are unrealistic, they can cause burn out and train your brain to get used to falling short. Achieving small goals will get your brain used to the truth: you can accomplish anything you put your mind to! Is your goal relevant? Look at the why behind your goal and decide if it is going to make a meaningful impact in your life. If your goal is important to you and inline with your values, then your why will keep you motivated when fatigue kicks in. Finally, make your goal timely. Every goal needs a target date. It’s important to set realistic time frames to work towards that challenge you without discouraging you or causing you to be overwhelmed.

2. Comparison/fear

   Comparison is the enemy of joy, but it will also stop you from having laser vision towards what you really want! So what if someone else has started a blog, or if you come across a book on the same topic of the one that you’re writing? Your voice, your audience, and your story are all unique to you and your DNA will make what you’re offering special. Don’t allow fear to stop you from taking the jump. Let’s use Virgil Abloh as an example. His first brand, Pyrex Vision, only survived one year before he shut it down to create Off-White. It then succeeded and it would be four years before he became the creative director of Louis Vuitton’s menswear. Don’t allow the fear of failure to prevent you from starting, and starting again.

3. You’re over-confident in your ability to do it alone

   Everyone that you’ve ever known to be successful has had help on their way to the top. Your favorite coach had a coach, and your mentor has a mentor. Don’t let your desire to be self-made prevent you from taking the necessary steps to seek guidance and educate yourself. If your goal is to have a successful podcast but you’re struggling on getting started or gaining an audience, invest in the right resources to take your brand to the next level. You might need to hire a personal trainer to get in shape, take an online course for a new skill, or consult with a career coach for that promotion. There are endless resources out there and trying to do it alone is only slowing yourself down. Being the best you can be requires becoming a life long student.

4. You’ve got the wrong tribe

   Never underestimate the power and influence of the company that you keep. If you’re the smartest at the table, it might be time to find a new table! Sometimes, our old friends and family mean well, but they can’t relate to the new path that you’re trying to take. If you are striving towards sobriety, your drinking buddies might not be your best choice for companionship at the moment. You get the concept. We also have to be careful to protect ourselves from dream killers. Even your parents or siblings who love you may not understand the risks you’re taking — so find new people to share your ideas with. Surrounding yourselves with likeminded, goal-oriented people is vital to the road to success. It’s not a coincidence that you often learn that many celebrities and successful CEOs were friends long before their accomplishments.

5. You’ve been ignoring your mental, emotional or spiritual health

   Finally, you’ve got to take care of yourself from the inside out. You might think that your broken relationships or your messy desk have nothing to do with your creative block, but they almost always are related. We try to compartmentalize our lives with careers, spirituality and love lives in separate spaces, but the reality is that we only have one spirit, we only have one mind, and they experiences all parts of our lives. It’s important to take care of ourselves holistically in order to reach new heights. So if things aren’t going great at work or if your health isn’t progressing the way it should, try looking at your inner life and handle your mental and spiritual health first.

At the end of the day, you have the power to be whoever you want to be. Everything starts with a decision, and sis, you’ve got this! So get out and go accomplish those goals.

With Style & Soul,

Kindra Moné