A Lesson Learned on Moving Slowly

When is the last time that you gave yourself a break from the hustle and bustle? We work hard all year long so that we can use 10 annual days of PTO to live our best lives somewhere tropical or to finally get a taste of a new culture. Weekends are filled with laundry, cleaning and maybe a brunch date that you end up rushing to, and if you’re one of the lucky ones, you’ll stay indoors and Netflix yourself into a vegetated state. Is this really what it’s all about?

I’m determined to make the most out of life and too often, this desire manifests itself in laser vision towards my professional goals. An idea with friends turns into a money-move, which is great — but it means more work. Have we placed the value of hard work over the value of enjoying the little things?

It took a trip across the country for me to realize that I’ve been doing it all wrong. I’d been so incredibly busy that I felt like I was on-the-go constantly, but my productivity wasn’t reflecting my busybody ways. A just-because weekend in Los Angeles gave me a new outlook on the way that I use my time. Here is what I learned:

Do Things Just Because You Can

I ended up in Los Angeles for the weekend because I came across a women’s brunch event hosted by Tykeia Nicole (and featuring my faves Sarah Jakes Roberts and Dr. Anita Phillips), and I decided that even though it wasn’t in New York, I still wanted to go. I RSVP’d and purchased my flight in that instant and figured I didn’t need a pressing reason or an elaborate plan to get away for a short while. I had the best time attending, I met some amazing women, and the speakers were phenomenal. The brunch alone, to me, was worth the trip.

Clear Your Schedule

I have a poor habit of overbooking myself. Saying yes to this and that project, making plans with too many friends in the same weekend and juggling multiple gigs along with my full-time job. By being out of town, my NYC obligations were forced to wait. The moment my plane landed I felt the lightness of knowing that besides one planned event, the weekend was mine to use as I pleased. Even plans that we enjoy weigh in the back of our minds and prevent us from being present in the moment. Throughout the weekend, I often didn’t even know what time it was. That is relaxation.

Unplug, like, for real.

I set an intention to minimally use my phone and social media while I was on this trip. I did capture photos and videos, but I felt no need to immediately post them or share my every move with friends and followers. I answered texts and calls when or if I felt like it and I did little things like look out of the window and took naps. My first night, I almost forced myself to go out even though I was tired but instead, I ordered room service, silenced my phone and watched a movie. That night in treated me better than any night out ever could.

Embrace what really matters

Take a moment to write down your values and then compare this list to your use of time. If you value family but never see or speak to them, are you really spending your life the way you want to? If you value faith but haven’t joined a place of worship, or if you value your art but haven’t produced any in a while, it might be time to reevaluate things. Friendship is one of my greatest values and I was so happy that during my trip I got the chance to connect with my line sister that I hadn’t seen in years. I strive to live a life in which my values are reflected in my lifestyle.

While we’re out here on our journey to become the best we can be, don’t forget to move slowly. Eat your lunch away from your desk and take the time to see how it tastes. Call a friend you haven’t spoken to in a while or just pretend you don’t have a phone for a day. A clear mind and new inspiration will be your reward.

With Style & SOUL

- Kindra Moné