Mother God: A Story of Identity & the Magic of Creation

Photography: Jarrod

Styling & storytelling: Kindra Moné

Style/set assistant: Alisa Norris

It didn’t occur to me for years that my mother had a first name that wasn’t mom. For so long, I associated my mother with my own needs and desires without considering that she might have her own, but I did know that she was The Source. Mothers are always The Source. As our first introduction to love, whether it looks like security or fear, they teach us how to see the world around us.

I caught up with two New York City women with full lives, both whom happen to be mothers, and I asked them what motherhood has meant to them.

Rose is a freelance model, while Damilola is the owner of By Dami Studios, an umbrella for her creative invitations and women’s clutches amongst other ventures.

Both women have a tribe that depends on them, and we spoke candidly about what that means for them.

How did you feel when you first learned that you would be a mother?

Dami: When I found out I was having twins I was very excited because ever since I was a little girl, I always told every single person that I would have twins. It was even funny for my high school friends because they could all point back to the times when I said I would have them.

Rose: When I first learned that I was going to be a mother I was terrified. I immediately wondered if all of the ways that I said I didn’t want to be as a mom would be replaced with qualities of being the best mom that I could possibly be.

How has motherhood changed you?

Rose: Motherhood has totally changed my perspective. I saw how my once negative perspective was trickling down into the minds of my children and I had a moment when I realized that I am like a potter that molds them, so I had to make a change my words towards expressing more gratitude. I try to teach them a lesson or find a silver lining in our everyday experiences whether they be trials or triumphs.

Dami: Honestly, I feel like motherhood has really just brought out parts of me that were always there. I feel like I’ve always been pretty sure, focused, intentional and a hard worker. I think that motherhood enhanced those skills times 10. I think beyond that, it brings out your super powers even more because you have kids that you are trying to go hard for. It makes you become more of that person deep down inside.

Dami: The most challenging part of motherhood is trying to make sure that I am making the right decisions to raise God-fearing, kind human beings, because that is the goal. Yea they are kids now, but they are going to be adults for most of their life. So I just seek the face of God and try to be intentional about what I expose them to and how I respond to certain things. It is a constant weight to be as intentional as we possibly can. Everything we do is a drop in their lives that ends up forming a human being.

Rose: The most challenging aspect of motherhood would be making sure that everyone feels that I am emotionally available for them. For one, in NYC theres a lot going on and it can be easy to just breeze through a day without connecting with each other. So to combat that challenge I try to limit electronics or I try to have sit down dinners with them so they know that no matter what, I’m always available to listen to them and guide them.

Do you feel like you’ve ever had a time where you lost yourself in motherhood? If so, how did you navigate?

Rose: I 100% think that there was a time when I lost myself in motherhood. As a mother of three, my attention is constantly divided. My daily routine is nonstop multitasking until my head hits the pillow at night. I think that its hard to be in your own thoughts when you’re constantly tending to togethers. So in order to navigate back to a place where I felt less robotic and completely present, I had to learn to manage my time better. I had to either start or end my days with a time that is allotted for me to tune into myself because if I’m not full then they’re not going to receive nutrients that are enriching to them. And as a mom, it’s my responsibility to give them the best so that they can be the best.

Dami: The danger of losing yourself in motherhood is a reality for a lot of us mothers. I think it’s just one of those things where you just forget about yourself because you’re raising little humans. Some evenings I look up and I’m like wait, “did I eat anything today?” Because I’m too worried about what they will eat. Even with grocery shopping, I shop for the kids. It can be as if I don’t exist anymore and it’s a constant struggle to be intentional about putting your self care and your needs in the forefront. I’m still learning to balance this because I don’t make time for myself to do the things that I enjoy. But I can’t blame it all on motherhood because my business is also to blame — I’m trying to grow in this area.

How do you maintain a sense of identity outside of being a mom?

Rose: Now more than ever I am realizing the power of personal development. I retain my sense of identity outside of being a mom by knowing that I am an individual with desires and passions that are not correlated to my children and it is perfectly okay to pursue them without having any ounce of mom guilt.

Dami: Something that I actually pride myself in is that I don’t feel like I’m one of those moms that is all about being a mom. I don’t carry motherhood on top of my head. It’s a part of me just like anything else. I’m a woman, I’m a business owner, I’m a friend and I’m a sister. I take the job very seriously, but I also feel like it seamlessly cohabits with all of the other areas of my life. So I really feel strongly that my identity isn’t tied to being a mom. I am Dami, I have kids, but I don’t feel like motherhood is something for me to fight against in order to be who I need to be.

What is currently the most rewarding aspect of motherhood?

Rose: I’d like to say the most rewarding aspect of motherhood currently is to be able to see the bonds that the 3 of them have built together. There are so many different dynamics within our family but the love that puts them together is beautiful to witness.

Dami: I just love getting to see these little humans unravel and become who they are going to be.

Is motherhood what you imagined it would be? Elaborate

Rose: In all honesty, I grew up feeling unloved and once I learned that I was having a daughter I immediately knew that I had to be better, do better, give better. And I know that with everything I thought then and everything I have now, motherhood is nothing like I imagined. I have learned that I can love beyond measure. I’ve been tested daily, I’ve grown and I’ll continue to grow with them. We’ve experienced loss but they’ve taught me how to be resilient. Above all, I’ve been given these beautiful angels from God that have brought the most life into my life and I’m so thankful for that.

Dami: Motherhood is beyond what i imagined. I love everything about it. People say that they don’t remember what it was like to not be a mom and I agree. It came and it took over my life, but at the same time, I don’t feel that I am lost to motherhood. I became a mom after being married for 5 years, I did so many things that I wanted to do and it came at the right time. Knowing that the decisions that I make are a direct correlation to who they will become is a bit stressful, but at the same time its so exciting.

ProfilesKindra Mone'May 12, 2019motherhood, mother, photo shoot, mothers day, mothers day 2019, family, womanhood1 Comment